Will you take a LOOK at this!!!!

Little bitty package for little bitty bits of nutnhoney for Toddie and me to share.  I am sure I hear Nana say the word "Share" but She lets things go "Pouff!" out of her mind and then I am slam bam right in trouble Ma'am....

So I was held against my will, in front of a Judge who was compromised because he has a RE -la-tion-ship with Nana.  The Girl was screaming, "Yeah he did it alright." and the Boy was hollering, "Oh man, Bails, you shouldn't ha done that.

So after the screaming and the hollering went home to bed, Nana sat me down and gave me a "talken to".  I hate these.  Nana knows that I am only good in the here and now, and talking about when and where and why adds no redeeming value to my knowledge.  But I sat there, real polite like because she was sitting on my front paw and holding my treat in her left paw.

Nana's left paw is the one she uses to fly her hands around the air and it can get dangerous and maybe even break off so I gotta keep my eye on the treat because it is bound to break off and go flying.

Poor Nana...I can be gracious in defeat because it is clear that she is wacky.

And Grandpa - he won't lock her up because, well, she has files on everyone. So Grandpa thought I had best write Unca Bob.  Unca Bob is the smartest tootiness lawyer-up lawyer in the West. So here it goes:

Dear Unca Bob,
I needed to write you because you are the best, smartest, tootiness lawyer-up lawyer in the West and I am a poor young sweet thing who is in jeopardy because of That Woman.
I am a poor sweet puppy, barely able to see over the window sill to see if breakfast is cooking (She Don't cook Unca Bob!)  As you know all my family up and abandon me.  I knowed I shouldn't a turned back but salt is a good thing to have but I got away with it. 
That Woman says I done parlayed off with Toddie's last crumbs, that I side-swiped his car and ran off to the Mexican Border.  CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT????
I can't speak Spanish, I would go North, up to where Butch and the Boyz are hiding.  Lets be logical here...
And Toddie is old enough to share, he knows how to share and sacrifice.  He is a Senior Citizens and if we can't trust them, who can we trust???
So I want to withdraw my nomination of Toddie for President of the United States because if you cant trust a senior citizen to do the right thing and sacrifice, what is this world coming to????I am asking you Unca Bob??? What are you all going do about this problem?

I can tell you right now that I am not buying Toddie a new snack pack.  I borrowed money off a him yesterday or the day before and I can't go asking him for more money.  I have principles.  But no money. But if he asks, you can tell him it was darn good eatin' and thank him kindly.  Good dog Todd. Thanks a lot. You say that you got ice cream?

Who gave you ice cream??????

NANA gave you ICE CREAM????????????

Unca Bob, I want to sue Nana.  She is being mean and withholding food from an orphan. Lets get that Jerry Spence as second chair.  He knows a good case when he sees one.  WILL YOU CALL HIM????
Ah, c'om, Unca Bob.  Don't be like that...

Guess WHAT????


Nana said I am going to JAIL!

Stayed tuned right here...I gotta go find a lawyer.

Nana left me and Toddie again.  She is a Traveling Nana...apparently.  But THIS time, Miss OM sent me a present!

So, thank you Miss OM!  I can't wait to see you!!  I am so excited that I am already sleeping on your bed!

LOLOLOLO...I know, get down.

Toddie is doing super good.  We took him to Dr. Wendy and found out that he is old! and has bad teeth!  Well, the teeth part is not actually a surprise.. 

But Todd has a heart murmur. Nana says that we all seem to have heart murmurs...  Murmurs are what we do when we complain under our breath and no one can quite hear us but they can tell we have a misery that we don't want to share but we want everyone to know we are unhappy.

Nana says that Murmur-ers are in need of a heart operation - they need their heart fixed OR to get a new one OR they could change their hearts.  Apparently it is really hard to change your heart.

So.  Good luck!  I am working on changing my heart. 

In an unfortunate series of incidents, all my toys - pig...chicken!...big chicken! have now become un-float-able.

They drowned.  I don't dive.

So Nana! (yeah! Nana!!, WAY TO GO NANA!!!) got me a new chicken.

I have not yet determined if New Chicken can swim but I will find out today.  Wish him good luck!

But, question - if he swims, is he a witch?  If he drowns is he a good chicken?  This whole Salem thing is very confusing...

 

 Hi Miss Jan,
This is for you tonight...

See all the friends hanging around?  love, Bailey

 
 
 
 

Toddie

Toddie has been very sick.  But Nana took him to Dr. Black and he is all better now.  He is perky and holds his tail up. 

Last night he got into the bed with Nana and I find that simply appalling.  Wait 'til Grandpa finds out!  (We do NOT need to mention my short neglect about whose bed is whose, do we?  I keep files...)

Anyway, then he - Toddie - curled up and snoozed on the floor which is where dogs are supposed to sleep.  (Unless we really, REALLY miss someone and then we can sleep on their side of the bed).

 

 

Night, Night Toddie. 

 

Love your bells.  Now we can hear him when he is eating my food. 

I am a Big guy...

Nana is a artsy kind a person.  As the Girl said, "Nana, you are so crafty!"  Poor Nana, she never gets it...   Grandpa spends a lot of time explaining things to her.

But we like Monet.  He is this French dude that has a very nice garden and he paints it (over and over and over - sheesh, lilies are great but would you look at the roses???) So we like Monet.  Except we don't actually KNOW Monet, excuse me, Monsieur Monet because well, he went the way of all the world.

ANYWAY!  Nana likes his colors...well, they are almost anyone's colors because colors are free and you can have any color you want without paying for it unless you go to a paint store and then you have to buy your colors but I am not allowed because I have not got opposable thumbs so Nana went to the paint store and she got BLUE!

Blue!  Not like her eyes which are brown.  And she does not have blue hair, unlike Mrs. Shaw who was Nana's grade 4 teacher who had blue hair but she went the way of all the world.  So we have a blue room. 


Does it not match nicely with my hair?  Blonde and blue, that is the perfect match because Great Nana is blue-eyed and blonde and that is why Great Grandpa fell in love with her and they have a blonde dog too and he looked great in their bedroom which was BLUE!

If you look closely at this picture, you will see that I ate the cookie that said "EAT ME" and I grew so I hit the ceiling and bonked my head so I hope that I don't go the way of all the world but I can hear the baby birds so I am quite happy.

Aren't you glad that you don't live in my head?
I am laughing out loud because, no, there IS nothing you can do about it.  Love, Bailey