Happy Weekend!

Nana has been slacking lately and not taking my picture.  I have no idea whats wrong with her.  She said "allergies" and so I brought her some kleenex.  Did you think she should have taken my picture???  YES she should have.

Where we live there are rabbits and quail and bobcats and other smells that Nana can't identify.  (And she thinks she is so smart!)  Nana says that I can't leave the yard when clearly I can.  What I MAY not do is leave the yard.  So here's me, not leaving the yard:

There is a rabbit right across the street.  I think it is the same rabbit that dared to walk on my yard and whom I chased back across the street and around the house.  Hahahahaha...Silly wabbit.

Medals

Hi,
You all know me as a somewhat snarky dog.  But I work hard and I am good at what I do and I know this because Nana told me so when she kissed me.  I got a medal for being a Good Citizen.  See?

You have to tilt your head right.  Right!  -> That way.


BUT,
I have to stop and say I know that this is not a REAL medal.  Real medals go to dogs who work at war, who protect us like the PANT dogs, and the police dogs and the bomb sniffers and the army dogs and even the Sea dogs. These four-legged soldiers earn the real medals and I am proud of them and the people who help them be all they can be.

So this Memorial Day, I salute you...with a tail wag and a kiss from Nana.  May you always be protected.

PS. Sea dogs work with the Coast Guard and the Search and Rescue Crews.  Yohah. Something like that.

We are laid out.  Like brackets around a bunch of chocolate strawberries that we can't have.  Nana is so mean.

I have been so good.  But oh no!  No strawberries for me. 

Toddie has NOT been good but now he is laid out too.  He BEGGED!  No self-respect.

see?

Begging.  Ah Todd, you shouldn't oughta do this.  See? Begging makes your eyes look like devil dog eyes.  Where is your pride, dogo?

And if Nana says that I was begging too, she is telling a whooper.

Poor Nana

Dear Grandpa,
You need to come home.  Nana throws like a girl.

I gave her 2 balls so she could practice and I am patient with her but please Grandpa she needs lessons.  Here I am waiting for the other ball because I am not going to run up there so I can get another ball thrown 10 feet.  So I am waiting...

We are trying again. Poor Nana.  Such a klutz.

Oh and Grandpa, she won't share the strawberries.

Warning

Ok.  Nana made me promise to tell you that if you put white things in your mouth you will maybe choke like I did and you will be a very sorry dog.  So don't do it, ok?

How do you like this picture?

What you are priviledged to look at are MY GAMS!  Llllooook at those gams.  You see the form and the well shapped legs that go clear to the top.  They are soft and hold-handable.  And I have mush cream on the pads in case I have to go mush.

I have to go.  I meeting with my manager.  ta ta for now...




                                                                                      ....whadda you mean I gotta have a bath? Nana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


(Grandpa - she is killing us. come home!) (PS don't tell her I told you.)

Heimlech Man-ooover

"Almost lost my life tonight, didn't I girl..."  "Almost had your hooks in me, didn't ya nana?"

I have these bone-type things that do dental attention to my fine teeth.  I got one and was doing my personal toiletry as a gentleman should and it !!!! splintered off and I started to choke.

So I said, "Go Toddie, my best friend, gggggoooooooo get Nana.  I AM sorry.  I am i AM.  Please Todd, I am fading here....

So Toddie got up for a drink of water and a peek of the strawberries, a stretch, a little walk around...

PLEASE TODDDDDIIIIEEEEE.  I can't breathe here.

Ta da!  And heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees Nana.

Then the fur went a flying.
Nana knew just what to do:  she stepped behind me and did the Dogleck Dogooover.  She put her fists under me and wanked me up off the ground. Then she did it again. and again.  And then splat some ozzzzy white thing came out of my mouth.  Wow, I was glad to see that go. 

Whew it was a close one.  I am so relieved that I ate Toddie's dinner.  Todd and me, we're tight, we're buds.

Nana's back?  Ah don kn naughm abou no bauk.  Donja knew dat i aint the bauk-keeper, donja kno dat?
She ken git one a dose hers own self.  Ah don hav' tim ta wait on her han an foot.

Anyway me and the Todster are wiped.  we be sleepin' ifin y'ole wan us....nigh

Domestic Terrorists

Once upon a time, there streams of sweet smells wafting out the open windows with mothers singing as they pulled hot cookies from the oven just in time for thier little darlings to run in the door with eager faces, anxious to show their loving mothers the works that even Michaelanglo's mother would praise.

Once upon a time the home smelled of fresh home made bread, lemon pledge, waxed floors and fresh flowers.  Linens were ironed, skivvies were starched, pillows fluffed and we were all reading The Classics like Little House on the Praire, Rebecca of Sunnybrooke Farm and Little Women, Lassie.


Get over it because that was then and this is now.  No more Mrs. Mommy!  Its the fly-by-night Nana-shrink who mentally calculates when she has to wash the floor just before Grandpa gets home.  Today is the age of the Gemini - a fierce battle-hardened Nana who does what she wants when she wants, especially if it involves ice cream.

Take heed You Guys out there!  This is just in to headquarters:

These poor poor little duffers, they are workin' dogs...trying to get a whiff of their kibble by sorting sox.(socks).  There is no pension plan, no workdogs comp, no time off, no chocolate.  Its a labour camp!

The MOMMIES ARE GOOOONE!!!

Watch out for the Nanas...

You can call me Master

I passed my Good Citizen's Exam.  We didn't use pencils (Still no thumbs) and Nana (of course) blew it and gave me a treat so we had to do one test again (I got her trained, enh?)  (I am Canadian...by adoption).  BUT in spite of Nana, I passed. 

It was very stressful:

I was sleeping and she woke me.  But really, you can see my eyes are staring off into the future when I will get my International Therapy Dog Designation.  My eyes are staring at a small Carribean island where all Cues run free and there are no limits on beef jerky.

Todd is not talking to me.

Saddles

As you can see I am a working dog.  This is my friend.  I love her and she loves me.  She has not tried to ride me yet.  Grandpa is saying something about a saddle.  Nana's eyes get slinty.  I suspect I will not get a saddle.
I don 't think that her mom would let me put a saddle on her.  I have no idea how I would hold the reins.  But galloping.  I can do galloping. 

I am learning to jump over Todd.  Nana laughs and says that the quick big dog jumped over the lazy shizt zoo.  I can't spell that.

Behind bars

I am stuck because of my integrity to remian behind the bars as I have been asked to do.  As you can see, it is a boatload of monkees...fun.  I got to watch the grass grow.

Actually there was a Ladies Tournament and they rode in their little carts and everyone who saw me when "aaaaahhhhh, isn't he so sweet".  I smiled and gave them my usual hard to get attitude.

Ahhhhh, isn't he cute.  AHHHHHHH....say it again.

I have friends!

You know Toddie.  You saw how pretty Cue is.  Now I want you to meet my other friends.  Toddie is a picture hog.  GET OUT OF THE WAY Toddie!

Copper is our friend...don't worry about the wall dude, its ok.  He is a traveler, a roaming free-spirited dog who rides the rails, who lets fresh air flow through his ears.

So, Coop. where ever you are today, know that we love you dude and hope yu bring the other dude home with you.  Yup, "keep the wheels between the lines and the dog bowl clean"  You be fine.
love, Bailey and Toddie

I did guard duty today. 

I did my duty.  I did not allow anyone to park here because I wouldn't move.  But THESE people! You wouldn't believe them!  They swish right by me.  I can't read but I know its says "customer parking ONLY"  It does not say anythng about parking cars.  Park your customers right here. 
I won't bite them.