Sunday, July 20, 2014

This is my caninedate picture.

So part of my platform is that

1.  EQUAL RIGHTS FOR CANINES!  Down with King George, Dogs rule and Cats drool.  From now on CATS will not be allowed to wander freely, yowling on walls, chasing small dogs, indiscriminately catting around.  Get a license CAT!

2. Every dog who wants one will be issued a human baby.  As many as the Dog wants and can keep safely. 

3. Health Insurance is about choice: pick one, pay for it and stop rolling in it.

4. Cars will stop driving badly.  I will find money for new police Dogs who will be responsible for chasing cars down and locking them up.  I will support retirement homes for Court, Police, Fire and Working dogs everywhere. 

5. No more clickers.  Enough already with the click-click clickers!

6. Refrigerators will be henceforth be made with spigots at dog height like humans can get water out of the front doors. Cold water is a RIGHT, not a privilege.

7. War dogs can have PTSD too.  Get them help sooner than 9 months. 

8. Old people can die if they can't get into the darn package!  Stop with packaging that starves dogs and the Elderly.

9.  Treats at 8 for EVERYONE!  Eating late is not European, it is about sleeping through the night.

10.  Hot dogs is an offensive name.  I know they are hot, eaten hot, but what is with the dog part?  They are not made out of dogs...are they???  I will appoint a special Senate committee to investigate this travesty of market labeling, besmirching the name of Good Dogs everywhere.

Love, Bailey

I don't think it is too early...

To ANNOUCE MY CANINEACITY for PRESIDENT!

I was at the airport and people were loving on me and petting on me and I thought HEY!  I can be President! 
I was born in the United States.
I do not hang out with subversive people (except Nana, who does not count) (She has a calculator)
I have legal counsel (HI Unca Bob)
I take --umm, what do I call them...not bribes...TREATS! I take treats for good behavior and at 8 PM and we can call that...ummm...perks of the job.  No, that's not right...BENEFITS!  I am a dog with benefits and I work at a non-profit.  (That is what Grandpa says).

I have people.  All caninedates have People.  I have many people. 

I LOVE my PEOPLE. 

So, Nana says I have to have a platform, not just the wooden crate.

I am thinking.  If you have any good ideas, write ME, BAILEY FOR PRESIDENT

It WAS my BIRTHDAY

Hello,
Pardon me if I am a bit chilly but I didn't get no stinkin' presents this year.  I did get a surprise when Nana took me to the vet and I got stuck and found out that the vet is a vampire.

He TOOK stuff; didn't give STUFF and Nana didn't get me a treat either.

When I become President, I am going to make Nana the ambassador to Newfoundland where she will become isolated and feel bad about being mean to me.

love, Bailey.
 
 

Saturday, May 3, 2014

I went to school yesterday!

I went with Miss Beautiful and Hit it, and of course Dr. Miss-it and Nana.  I worked the room like a politician and everyone petted on me and so after much thought and careful consideration, deep late night discussions with my family...


I HEREBY DECLARE MYSELF AS A CANIneDate for President of the United State of American.  My platform is a square box.

My first act when I become President is to annex Canada.  I have many Canadian friends and family and so they would be happy to be in a more united state.

Besides I like my pool warm and I need natural gas to do that.  They got it; I need it.  I want to keep it all simple.


AND COOKIES FOR EVERYONE!  INCLUDING DOGS and a couple of cats...

Stay tuned....

Monday, April 28, 2014

There comes a time...

...in every Big Dog's life when his "children" leave home. 





Joe Diffy has gone.  He is traveling abroad to expand his mind and his experiences, to learn and to apply everything he learns.  He will also need some minor surgery so he will be resting in the Country.

While this is all good for Joe's maturity and personal growth, it is a bitter-sweet moment.  I am now all alone.  With Nana. 





I plan to expand my own horizons but I need psychological support to deal with my "empty doghouse" syndrome.  I will need a doghouse first.

Fare thee well and good-bye Joe Diffy!!!  Be careful where you spot!  Practice some self-discipline!  Neither a lender nor a borrower be...be thou true to thy ownself and thou canst be false to any creature. Scatter your cookies where ye may.  Don't bite the hand that feeds you!  Be slow to anger and quick to forgive.  Stay calm. Don't eat chicken bones!  Cats are not all kind.  Squirrels - you will never catch them.  Don't bark indiscriminately. 

Sigh.  So much to teach, and no pup to teach it to.

GOODBYE!
                                      GOODBYE
                                                                   GoodBYE
                                                                                    Goodbye
                                                                                                goodbye
                                                                                                         goodbye
                                                                                                                 goodbyyyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeee

Sunday, April 27, 2014

Apparently I have to tell the WHOLE truth, not just part of the truth.  Nana took me with her on a looooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooog trip.  While I love Buttercup, I was hoping for a Peterbilt but I digress...

I stopped to sign autographs for my fans.



Note the costumes!  My happy fans get all dressed up for me.  There is a whole line of happy fans lined up to get my autograph.  I signed so many, I tell you, I got cramps in my paws and I think I have carping tunnels.  Nana said I should stop carping and rest them.  She snorted when she said that....is she being mean again?

Carp diem!

Yesterday Nana left me alone.  She SAYS she went to a lecture and to prove it she took this picture:
 
 
 This BEAUTIFUL Lady is Miss Nancy.  She spoke at the conference and put MY name on her slide show because I am a member of the Golden Retriever Canine Health Study underwritten by the Morris Foundation. 
 
 
This is a BIG DEAL because the doctors are doing Big Stuff Research about dogs and cancer and helping people too.  I have a secret number because Nana says it is all a double-blind study.  I think that it means that I have to wear TWO blindfolds but I don't know when that will happen.  It will be a surprise.
 
 
If YOU know any Goldens, please tell them about me...er, about the study.  You DO get cookies.