So my brother's name is Winston. He is a British Cream Golden Retriever who will not return a thing.  Unlike me, it is not his dignity that causes him to not retriever. It is his contrary nature. I do not understand this as Grandpa is British and he Retrieves but Winston will not.

Nana says it is because his inhibition button is stuck on "I won't". Grandpa says it is because he is a badly behaved dog.  Nana says he is really lovable (ha!).  Grandpa says she is spoiling him. I say he is a badly behaved spoiled - rotten excuse of a dog.

Today was a perfect example.  I was minding my own business, sniffing the grass at the post box when Winston goes NUTS and I amble over to meet the Belgium melly-something and Winston is pulling Nana into what is clearly going to be a un-United Nations international incident and I am YELLED at to GET OVER HERE!. I miss out on making a friendship and get unceremoniously hauled home where I am scolded vigorously over something I didn't do.  Winston was the BAD DOG.  Not me.  Clearly I need Unca Bob because I want to Sue someone. Frank is busy but Sue should do something.  I need re-com-pense.  Instead all I got was a fence.  Bob.  Pense. Pence? Shillings Spice?  I don't know but Grandpa better call someone.

Pence.  Isn't he someone I should know?  I will call him.  He is probably not busy.