To Whom It May Concern:
This is a picture of me, Sir Bailey the Good, Bailicus Quo Vadis Honey, done by a very sweet young man and I think it is fantastic. Nana helped with it and he bestowed it upon me.  Nana had nothing to do with it, as you can clearly tell from the quality of the rendering.

I would like it to be sold as I need the money to pay Winston's bail.  He is going to need it.

Yours truly,
Bailey

Dear Unca Bob,

We have a little problem.  This is me, Winnie,  So like I say, we have a little problem.  I need you to sue Nana.
Yes, I know! I am shocked too.

But it is all her fault.  She went to a semminary and left me lone with Grandpa and Bailey.  Then Grandpa left me ALL ALONE with Bailey and you know how Bailey is not trustwordy. So Bailey did this wicket thing and when Grandpa got home I did not get a treat.
And when Nana came home, her what I depend on to tell the truth, did not verdeefly what Grandpa and Bailey said and so she abandoned me to my scant defenses and I feel insecure now.

See what Bailey did???

As you can planely see, Unca Bob, this was Bailey because the hole is so wide and deep and we all know that he has great big paws and I have dainty paws so this is his PAW PRINT!  HIS!!! BAILEY'S PAWS

Oh Unca Bob,
Get out of the way, Winston. You are a bad dog.  Unca Bob, this is Bailey, the good dog.  We all know that the best predictor of behavior is recent past behavior.  We know these things.  I will stipulate for the record that Nana had to go to a class. That Grandpa, bless his heart, had to go out. We know who really did this and his name is WINSTON the POOH.

Winston cannot sue Nana because a) he has not standing here.  He was standing THERE. And b) he cannot pay you and family relationships can only go so far.  And c) He is about to be arrested and you are THERE and he is HERE.

We all miss you and its 100 degrees here.  Not THERE.  love, Bailey

Aren't I beautiful?  Winnie is not.  I just came from work where I loved a girl into doing what she needed to do.  She rewarded me with lots of cookies, more than Grandpa needs to know about.

I don't mind the cookies, really.  I mean I eat a special diet that explodes in my tummy so I can lose weight and return to my normally svelt self.  OF course, I have trained Grandpa to add home made chicken and asparagus and broccoli and beans to it, el dante of course.  A dainty?  I dunno for sure but it is supposed to be sort of crunchy.

Nana is having chocolate and diet Dr. Pepper for her special diet. 

One of us has lost weight and one of us has not.

One of us had to BUY new shoes because she did not win the contest and one of us did not.
Overall, one of us is doing really well and the other...needs more new shoes.

Obviously I am a Front Seat Dog.  Winston is a back seat dog.  I had to go to work, I was needed ASAP, right away, vite!, tout suite, GET OUT OF THE VAN WINSTON!!!!

Does he get out?  No.  He wants to drive.  He has seen Grandpa drive and it looks easy.  Sure, except for the lack of opposable thumbs and the ability to reach the pedals.  And the lack of a key. 

So I calmly called Nana who reasoned with Winston the Nail Eater in some sort of psychobabble and eventually Grandpa got him out.

That DOG!

We were late, of course so Nana was cross and I had to regroup.  That DOG.

I am just saying that our favorite Girl got married. It was all very lovely and we are - The Royal We - very happy with him new self. He came to visit, Girl brought him in like a present that I bring in when Nana comes home and we did our very best to cover him in fur so he won't forget us.

Nana went to the wedding alone because White Face and me were banned so Grandpa had to take us home and LOOK at THIS!!!

A CRIME with an PRESUMPTUOUS CRIMINAL CAUGHT IN THE NEFARIOUS ACT!

YES They did.  "They" because this sly wicked creature of the night was not alone!  Filled the innocent bridal vehicle with balloons, they did!  Put poppers on the muffler, they did!!  Used shoe polish on the windows, they did!!! Advertised the state of marriage, they did!!!! Defaced the car, they did!!!!! Put stuff in the trunk, they did!!!!!!  All in the spirit of good fun, they said.

And YET.  And YET Nana walked away, she did. 
shame on her.

This is our newest cousin. We are almost fond of him.  We are told that he is the "BEST DOG EVER" until he ate the tree, 3 pairs of shoes and dented the car with his tail.

I, Bailey The Good, am the BEST DOG EVER.

I have to work tomorrow.  Too hot.