Dear Unca Bob,

We have a little problem.  This is me, Winnie,  So like I say, we have a little problem.  I need you to sue Nana.
Yes, I know! I am shocked too.

But it is all her fault.  She went to a semminary and left me lone with Grandpa and Bailey.  Then Grandpa left me ALL ALONE with Bailey and you know how Bailey is not trustwordy. So Bailey did this wicket thing and when Grandpa got home I did not get a treat.
And when Nana came home, her what I depend on to tell the truth, did not verdeefly what Grandpa and Bailey said and so she abandoned me to my scant defenses and I feel insecure now.

See what Bailey did???

As you can planely see, Unca Bob, this was Bailey because the hole is so wide and deep and we all know that he has great big paws and I have dainty paws so this is his PAW PRINT!  HIS!!! BAILEY'S PAWS

Oh Unca Bob,
Get out of the way, Winston. You are a bad dog.  Unca Bob, this is Bailey, the good dog.  We all know that the best predictor of behavior is recent past behavior.  We know these things.  I will stipulate for the record that Nana had to go to a class. That Grandpa, bless his heart, had to go out. We know who really did this and his name is WINSTON the POOH.

Winston cannot sue Nana because a) he has not standing here.  He was standing THERE. And b) he cannot pay you and family relationships can only go so far.  And c) He is about to be arrested and you are THERE and he is HERE.

We all miss you and its 100 degrees here.  Not THERE.  love, Bailey