I bet dat you dinno dat I was a Bird Dog.  I am a very good bird dog because I hardly ever eat them.  But dis guy is gonna be sorry dat he decided to park here.  So, bye, I gotta go....because he has ta go.

I am so humiliated!!!!
For the first time in my whole life I have fleas.  So does Winston and Nana and Grandpa and it is all Winston's fault.  He went to jail and you know the saying..."IF you lie down with the dogs, you get up with the fleas".  

We are fumigating the house and the dog-mobile and I want Nana to spank Winston but she won't.  

I am all about justice and I am going to call Unca Bob.

Yours truly, Bailicus Quo Vadis Honey




Dis is Winston Something de le Creme, Winston the Best.  I did not bring dose fleaz in two dis hose.  Bailey did dat.  I wan Granpa to spank Bailey and I hav to tell him dat.  I can see doz birds and so I havs to go.  After I call Unca Bob about a class action sut against Bailey The Liar, Nana the Do Nothing and Granpa - if he doz not spank Bailey - granpa The Non Spanker.

Gotta go Winston The Best

And I is lerning how too sing.  This is ME, Winston The Best
 
 

And Miss Jan...
You know that we love you and you know that we know you love us and we know you know that we know.

Its Winston.  He wants to run wild and free.  He wants to be a bad dog.  I am Bailey the Good and I have medals and I know what I am supposed to do.

So does Winston.  But he is Winston the Bad.

                                                  Winston The Bad

I am calling Unca Bob.  I need a re-training order.

I am in Boot Camp again.  I can't even talk about this.

It is all Winston's fault. 

Somebody is going to pay for this. 

To Whom It May Concern:
This is a picture of me, Sir Bailey the Good, Bailicus Quo Vadis Honey, done by a very sweet young man and I think it is fantastic. Nana helped with it and he bestowed it upon me.  Nana had nothing to do with it, as you can clearly tell from the quality of the rendering.

I would like it to be sold as I need the money to pay Winston's bail.  He is going to need it.

Yours truly,
Bailey

Dear Unca Bob,

We have a little problem.  This is me, Winnie,  So like I say, we have a little problem.  I need you to sue Nana.
Yes, I know! I am shocked too.

But it is all her fault.  She went to a semminary and left me lone with Grandpa and Bailey.  Then Grandpa left me ALL ALONE with Bailey and you know how Bailey is not trustwordy. So Bailey did this wicket thing and when Grandpa got home I did not get a treat.
And when Nana came home, her what I depend on to tell the truth, did not verdeefly what Grandpa and Bailey said and so she abandoned me to my scant defenses and I feel insecure now.

See what Bailey did???

As you can planely see, Unca Bob, this was Bailey because the hole is so wide and deep and we all know that he has great big paws and I have dainty paws so this is his PAW PRINT!  HIS!!! BAILEY'S PAWS

Oh Unca Bob,
Get out of the way, Winston. You are a bad dog.  Unca Bob, this is Bailey, the good dog.  We all know that the best predictor of behavior is recent past behavior.  We know these things.  I will stipulate for the record that Nana had to go to a class. That Grandpa, bless his heart, had to go out. We know who really did this and his name is WINSTON the POOH.

Winston cannot sue Nana because a) he has not standing here.  He was standing THERE. And b) he cannot pay you and family relationships can only go so far.  And c) He is about to be arrested and you are THERE and he is HERE.

We all miss you and its 100 degrees here.  Not THERE.  love, Bailey

Aren't I beautiful?  Winnie is not.  I just came from work where I loved a girl into doing what she needed to do.  She rewarded me with lots of cookies, more than Grandpa needs to know about.

I don't mind the cookies, really.  I mean I eat a special diet that explodes in my tummy so I can lose weight and return to my normally svelt self.  OF course, I have trained Grandpa to add home made chicken and asparagus and broccoli and beans to it, el dante of course.  A dainty?  I dunno for sure but it is supposed to be sort of crunchy.

Nana is having chocolate and diet Dr. Pepper for her special diet. 

One of us has lost weight and one of us has not.

One of us had to BUY new shoes because she did not win the contest and one of us did not.
Overall, one of us is doing really well and the other...needs more new shoes.