This is Nana.
So as it turns out, Bailey was not just moping about his loss in the election.  He was limping so he went to the Vet - as in OUR Vet, whom we love because his hands know Bailey - and is a Morris Foundation Hero Vet  - and Bailey is sick.

He is so connected that he has much the same problem in his back as I do.  And he has Valley Fever.  Dr. Hudman has given Bailey meds for pain and to treat the Valley Fever which is some kind of a fungus that you can get when you like in the Valley of the Sun.  Spores are in the dust.  It is not contagious but it can wear a dog down.  Bailey is sleeping a lot as his body fights.  Of course he, like me, has been on a diet now for 4 years and has gained 4 pounds.  Mildly stated, he is a Big Dog.

Please send your prayers, warm thoughts and love in our direction.  There are many who depend on Bailey's wisdom and generous spirit to make it through each day.  We know life can be hard, that it in fact IS hard but Bailey was given to us all to help us learn unconditional love for each other, unwavering faith in the goodness and potential of mankind and complete forgiveness for what we are and for what we are not.

He loves you.  You.  As do I. 

We will keep in touch.

I lost.

I am not going to say that it was the fault of rigging.  Or the fault of the DEA. Or the fault of the ASPCA.

But...

Those darn cats.



We are in morning.  No, we are in evening.  As in I will get evening.  wid da tats.

SO, just to show you how popular I am...look at my signs!  I did not pay for this, it was a donation from a dear heart who knows the truth about cats, freedom and license laws. 

Thank you dahling, whoever you are!  I love you too.

 

Is this great or what???!!!

I have to admit, we are getting down to the wire.  Nerves are on edge, the banks are on meds for anxiety, and the Canadian brides are lined up at Nogales border crossing. 
Nana is calm.  Of course she is always calm because who can bear the idea of a Nana being UPSET??

I am calm.  I went to the spa, SEE?

I am so stressed that I am SHEDDING!
You are going to vote for me right????
I need this job!
And I think I look presidential...I don't have an email account OR a comb-over.  I am the perfect candidate!

I understand it now...its a shmear campaign.  Nana.  The very same.  She-who-won't-obey.  Nana...trying to make me look bad, with my tongue all hanging out.  She probably is going to tell everyone that I snore too.  And twitch in my sleep. 

 

Do you know what a papapapartzi is?  I think I have one...

I AM OUTRAGED!!!  Cannot you people understand that a bit of youthful misdeeds lead to greater wisdom as we get older and understand more??????  And I am telling you that it was Toddie's idea.  He was the mastermind behind the run to the Border!  And there is no truth to the rumor that we were running bootleg Canadian chocolate to Mexico.  Simply not true.  NOT TRUE. 

We are just 2 Smarties, 2 little Mr. Bigs, with Aero between our ears.  We are not slick little Glossettes, we can't even EAT raisins. And as a chocolatier, Bernard Celebrant won't let us near the truffles.

I have no idea who dug up this dirt. 

Anyway, the car has been totaled so there are not paw prints anywhere.

As you know, my strength as a canindate is with the cats.  However, I have tried to herd them and it is not working out as well as I had hoped.  Nana has proven to be useless as a campaigner. Or as a manager. 

Can you see TRUST in their eyes???  Do you think they will vote for ME???

I listen to them as they complain ad nauseum...

 

 

 

I am slipping into unconsciousness.  They whine and meow and hiss and I can't make them happy at all.

So I have a deep EXISTENTIAL QUESTION!!  Is it possible to make felines happy?  Just what do they want anyway? 

IT must be a bad day...even The Cats, for whom I have fought so hard, as illusive and reserved.  You would think they don't trust me!   It is mortifying. 

I can't even fix this picture right.  Cat won't talk, I am going to bed.  Good night

A dissenter...I tried to talk to him but we don't see eye to eye.

PResidential Look

It is fairly common knowledge that Nana is capable to giving The Look to people who violate her standards (low) of conduct (whatever).  Chin down, eyes up to the eyebrows and then one eyebrow goes UP and it makes her glasses askew.  I have not told her this...but I am also practicing it.  On her.  So far, it is not working but I will perseverate.

I am working on who is going to be my running mate and have decided that SNICKERS is the best.  SNICKERS always acts better after eating and so it will be SNICKERS who will attend the various state functions.  I will of course, attend Funerals, pool parties, and the Dillards' Sales. 


In keeping with my new Presidential position (assumed), I am cleaning up.  My Style.  I have been shredding irrelevant papers, putting my financial affairs (with the French poodle) (who shall remain unnamed) in order (SHE had such blind trust), and getting fluffed and buffed.  Check me out:

I had the spa especially put in for my private time.

But of course I use a professional to keep me looking my best...

Snickers...thus far, has declined to be fluffed and buffed.  but it is just a matter of catching...

PResidential Look

It is fairly common knowledge that Nana is capable to giving The Look to people who violate her standards (low) of conduct (whatever).  Chin down, eyes up to the eyebrows and then one eyebrow goes UP and it makes her glasses askew.  I have not told her this...but I am also practicing it.  On her.  So far, it is not working but I will perseverate.

I am working on who is going to be my running mate and have decided that SNICKERS is the best.  SNICKERS always acts better after eating and so it will be SNICKERS who will attend the various state functions.  I will of course, attend Funerals, pool parties, and the Dillards Sales. 

It is very important to look Presidential.  I have been practicing in the mirror.  See what you think...

 

This is me, staring off into the Rose Garden on the East Lawn of the West White House that faces West.  I see the future of our Great Nation, One Nation, indivisble with Liberty and Justice for all Creature-Kind.
I think I look pretty good.

Try this one...

You see, We, the Royal We, must keep On Top of The Issues, ergo, (a smart sounding word) I watch the pun-dints (ryhmes with mints).  I am looking Off to The Great Future.

Here I am, back at the Aunt Bunny's Resort, Refuge, Spa and Ranch for the Distressed, communing with my constituants. It is very important that I keep in touch with the heart and soul of my people and cats so I can properly know their will.  And consider that will in what I do.  Whether or not I chose to ignore that will is not any of their beeswax.

I of course am only telling you.  This will not find its way into my Blackberry or my email accounts, should I have them, or not have them, according to some Amendment or another. 

Aunt Bunny's Resort, Refuge, Ranch and Spa for Distressed Animals.

This is a shameless advertisement for Aunt Bunny's Resort, Refuge, Ranch and Spa for Distressed Animals.  Nana...well, it is always NANA, decided to check me into the Aunt Bunny's Pet Resort, Refuge, Ranch and Spa for Distressed Animals because in shrinkology-speak, the Conventions were just too too much for me.  I tried to speak at the First One but there were donkeys at the door and THEY had expected Lassie (although we all know she is as dead as a doorknob) but then someone thought they should get that wordy Chase-the-Aussie but HE was aligning elsewhere, with a bunch of sheep.  Anyway, politics aside, I couldn't get a paw in edgewise so I took the bus to the Other Convention.

They seem a bit more inclusive but I didn't expect the elephants to be in on the circus (this is the LAST year for that, donja know?) so I just de-camped. I did sign a few autographs but that is so exhausting without opposable thumbs, so I just came home and Nana promptly locked me up for more than 72 hours at the Aunt Bunny Resort, Refuge, Ranch and Spa for Distressed Animals.

So I called Unca Bob.  But Unca Bob is the chief of the Raccoon Riders and he is gone around the bend so I was stuck.

Thankfully, Aunt Bunny's Resort, Refuge, Ranch and Spa for Distressed Animals is RATHER Superb.  Take a look:

    I had a professional Massage Person.  She wore a lovely blue outfit and knew just where I needed stress relief.

I had my own PROFFESSIONAL trainer who believed that working the stairs was important to my well being (and doesn't he have nice legs?)

AND Then...

I had my own room where I could relax, kick back and watch some TV.  I do so like that Anderson Cooper dude even if he said awful things about Honey Badger. 

I had 9 (NINE) cats at my beck and call.  They took care of me, looked after Nana's garden, and are now - EVEN NOW as we speak - are going all out for my campaign because they know EQUAL RIGHTS FOR CATS is an urgent issue.

I have been discharged but, well, Nana is Nana.  Soon as Unca Bob comes back from being around the bend, we are going to have WORDS.  Yes, NANA, watch your back!

Grandpa made my bed very high and it is hard to jump up that high.  Nana, bless her heart, made a stool so I can get onto the bed with dignity.  It is a King Bed so of course that means that it is for me. Although I will be the first to admit that I do not live in a monarchy (although, some of the presidents appear to be less sure), I think it is ok for a dignified and kingly dog to sleep on a King Bed.

The pillows do smell vaguely of Duck. L'orange.

I like these high count sheets.

Grandpa made me get down.  Nana just stood there and laughed and laughed.

Ghost Rider

Miss Jan, I was wondering if you wanted to be my ghost rider?  Nana says she has a plan.


I wouldn't bet money on it...but hey, the coloring book looks pretty good.  Nana seems to be able to color, but that is about it.
Although...see me?  Nana did that.

This is me, waiting patiently for the network TV trucks to show up.  I waited for days.  Nana pleaded with me to come inside but I REALLY believed. 

They didn't come.

9 cats showed up though and they hissed at me.  I don't understand why they do that - my platform is about EQUAL RIGHTS FOR CATS!!  They need to be licensed and chipped for their own good.  I have great disdain for King Charles who set my furry little friends on a life long projectory of sleeping outside, killing songbirds and causing extinctions.  You may not know this but King Charles was responsible for the stunning loss of the dodo.

I am going to the National Convention in Denver.  Please talk to my publicist about paw prints.

I wonder if Nana called the TV stations like I asked her to...

It was going to be The BIGGEST EXPOSE in the History of Global Politics.  Now, no one will ever know, and YOU won't either.

I think I need to have a Talk with Nana.....

Another auspicious announcement:  Nana's coloring book is print-ready. 

This was perfect timing on Nana's part because we had a family tragedy last night.  Our little Oreo had an encounter of the worst kind with a car. Services will be held.

In lieu of flowers, please put love on your own sweet pet and hug him or her closer.  Thank you

I am announcing today this most auspicious announcement that will further the friendly exchange that we enjoy with Great Briton.  We have put behind us that small confab that our 2 countries endured a while back, that small issue about tea - NOT ANOTHER TEA PARTY!!!!! - that we have put behind us.

AUSCPICIOUS is the word for today's announcement.  Finally our governments heard the constant plea of such pitiful women as Nana who will sink so low as to beg, cry and roll around in the dirt.
They were not auspicious. But their cause is just and right and so now, without anymore awesome auspiciousness HERE IS THE ANNOUSOUANT:

We can now get a hedgehog!!!!!  And be legal at the same time!!!!!  This is a big change for Nana. We are always grateful when Nana returns home without new handcuffs.

Grandpa has been notified of this current legality and he was told on a full stomach while watching a football game. I suspect that he did not QUITE hear the specifics to which he nodded and apparently agreed.  Nana is a shrink after all.

I am just reporting in...as you can see, I am involved with the uber people at Morris for the Golden Retriever Study.

It is embarrassing but its for a good cause.  This is my 4 year that I am participating.  I am number 354 which Nana says means that I am an "early adopter".  hey!! Don't look at me, I didn't adopt anybody and no one but Nana and my Grandpa are taking me anywhere.

 

 

 

Debates

All I am saying is that NANA says I missed the debates!!!!
 
I DEMAND A RECOUNT!  
 
Hillary needs to know that eating chicken will not help her! 
That Trump guy.  I can't help him but I will go to Court when its his turn.
 
WHO ELSE IS RUNNING????

So Nana found this quote:

God in HIs infinite wisdom
Did not make me very wise -
So when my actions are stupid
They hardly take God by surprise.

Its by Langston Hughes.


Mr. Hughes does not know me but it would appear that he knows Nana quite well.

I am still looking for the Green Room.  I think Mr. Trumpet had it moved to Atlantic City.